


Sorrow Lifting Slow

by HSavinien



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Disabled Character, Grief/Mourning, Haircuts, Healing, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 19:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10951197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HSavinien/pseuds/HSavinien
Summary: Bodhi Rook cuts his hair and I make up Jedhan traditions.





	Sorrow Lifting Slow

Bodhi cuts his hair and it is a miracle. 

On Jedha, growing your hair out was part of mourning.  He’d stopped cutting it when his mother died, alone with the news out in the black on an Imperial freighter, and then he’d fled and Jedha burned and Cassian knows that Bodhi still blames himself for that sometimes.  

Cassian offers his help and Bodhi smiles and declines, and the soft snip-snip of the scissors and the patter of hair falling into the wastebin is somehow heartwrenching itself.  But with every snip, he watches Bodhi’s shoulders lighten, and that’s as much a beacon of hope as the destruction of the Death Star had been.

“It’s letting go of the sorrow,” Bodhi says, focused on the mirror.  “Being ready to move forward from the pain, not live in it anymore.”

Cassian thinks of Chirrut.  And then he considers Baze and winces.  Bodhi’s eyes flicker to his face in the mirror and Bodhi shrugs.  “Some people prefer to hold on.  That’s their right.”

“Yes, of course.”  Cassian pulls his leg out of the footrest of his chair, slumping forward a little to ease the strain on his lower back. “Are you going to be warm enough?  You should bring a scarf.”

Bodhi grins at him as he trims around his ears.  “I am a Jedha boy,” he says. “I’m used to cold nights.  Not everyone has your thin blood.  They fixed your coat, right?  It was bunching up last time.”

Cassian huffs.  “It’s fine, it’s fine.”  He subsides, watching wistfully as Bodhi runs practiced fingers across the back of his head, finding the last stray long hairs and trimming them down short. 

When Bodhi has checked himself from all angles and is apparently satisfied, he turns to face Cassian and gives a little shrug.  “Well?”

Cassian’s breath hitches.  Bodhi’s long hair had been beautiful, but this suits him too, makes him look less fragile.  They have coaxed away the dark circles under his eyes over the past months, Baze with persistent feeding, Chirrut with meditation, Jyn with holos from the planets she visits, Kaytoo with dry sarcasm, and Cassian at his side at night as they take turns shaking each other out of nightmares.  With Bodhi’s skin a healthier color from sunlight, his cheeks less hollowed by stress and privation, and his hair framing his face in a short dark halo, he looks like a miracle.

Cassian throws a scarf at his head.  “Come on, we’ll be late for the party.”  He spins in a quick turn and pushes into a glide toward the door.  Bodhi laughs behind him and trots to catch up to Cassian, keeping pace beside his chair.  Cassian focuses on the corridor, following the sounds of celebration to the hangar.  When they emerge into it, the space is transformed.  Lights are strung on gantries and scaffolds, tables and chairs pulled from the mess hall are scattered around laden with food.  There’s music playing and people moving to it. He hears Bodhi’s steps stop and looks up to see him, smiling a little but wistful.  

Cassian grins.  “Go find someone to dance with.”

“Someone not you?” Bodhi smiles.  “No.  I like it here just fine.  I’m staying with you.”  He gazes out over the crowd, face dropping into stillness.  “Everything’s peaceful.”

“For the moment,” Cassian says, and hates himself a tiny bit for the automatic negativity, and adds, “A moment’s long enough sometimes.”  He reaches out and wraps his hand around Bodhi’s, lacing their fingers together. Bodhi's eyes flick to his, then away.

“Long enough,” Bodhi agrees and squeezes his hand and for the first time it doesn’t feel like someone trying to save themselves from drowning.

**Author's Note:**

> Cassian is using a wheelchair now because of the injuries sustained on Scarif. Bodhi's got impressive scarring down one side. Both Chirrut and Baze spent quite a while in the bacta tanks with a case of getting shot repeatedly. Jyn had a concussion and now gets migraines. K-2S0 had to be restored from a backup and is now living as an increasingly profane black and chrome protocol droid.  
> Inspired by: http://hsavinien.tumblr.com/post/160863336847/bodhi-cuts-his-hair-and-it-is-a-miracle-on


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